


Welcome to Volleyball Hell

by shiroganeeee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Angst, Crack, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Crack, Heartbreak, Meme, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-06-06 02:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6735079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiroganeeee/pseuds/shiroganeeee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles featuring your favorite volleyball dorks acting like... well dorks!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ushijimawakatoshi420@blazeit.com

**Author's Note:**

> ayyy lmao lets gooooooooo  
> btw the bold in this fic means that its selected (it'll make sense when you read it)

From: WAKA FLOCKA FLAME 

To: [Name]dizzle

[Name], what is weed? Tendou said I should use it because it would help me improve in volleyball. I'm not so sure if I do want to use this "weed" thing...

_Sent 11:31 P.M._

* * *

 

From: [Name]dizzle

To: WAKA FLOCKA FLAME 

HAHAHA TENDOU IS THE BEST HOLY SHITTTTT

you're better off looking it up on Google my dude 

_Sent 11:38_

* * *

From: WAKA FLOCKA FLAME 

To: [Name]dizzle

No, tell me what it is. Tendou is currently laughing at me and I asked Semi what it is but he looked the other way and started laughing as well. Oohira isn't here to answer my question and so I turn to you. 

_Sent 11:42_

* * *

 

From: [Name]dizzle

To: WAKA FLOCKA FLAME 

ugh you big ass brick. 

just look up "cannabis for dummies," and then you'll find the answer to your question

* * *

_WAKA FLOCKA FLAME is calling you..._

_**[Answer]** _ _[Decline]  
_

"What do you want, Waka?"

"Where do you find 'dank weed'? I must find it."

[Name] choked on her spaghetti.

 

 

 


	2. i'm waiting on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wanted to do a bakery au for a really long time! enjoy boo-boos ;*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing detailed drabbles makes me cry bc i suck at it, but im tryna improve for y'all (;

The faint scent of vanilla beans invaded [Name]'s senses as she walked towards her holy grail of all patisseries, Seijoh's Bakery. Taking a deep breath, she opened the double doors and was greeted by a charming yet quirky brown-haired alien.

"Welcome to Seijoh's Bake- ah! [Name]-chan!" Oikawa Tooru grinned at her and ushered her to her usual spot, towards the back and right next to the window. Like the gentleman he always claims to be, he pulled out her chair before she could seat herself and smirked when she gave an annoyed huff at his "gentleman-like" actions. Oikawa pulled out his check pad from the pocket of his apron and slid out his handy dandy star-patterned pen from his ear. 

He smiled, "What kind of toss are you starting off with today?" 

"Spectacular wording there, my dear Grand King," [Name] laughed, "I would like an ice green tea latte with light ice and soymilk." She smiled at him as he wrote down her order.

"Alright, alright. No spikes with that toss or do you want a surprise as usual? Last time you didn't like my cross-court..." Oikawa pouted childishly at her. [Name] rolled her eyes at him, scoffing when he whined at her annoyance. 

"I told you beforehand that I was allergic to peanuts!" She replied. 

"APPRECIATE WHAT I SERVE TO YOU!"

"Anyways," [Name] cleared her throat, "No surprises today." She leaned forward and rested her cheek on her palm as she gave Oikawa a sultry look.

"I would like an Oikawa Tooru with no uniform and on my bed at 6." [Name] reveled in the light dusting of red on his cheeks and the shocked, yet lustful look in his eyes. She noticed that his hands were twitching and his body was frigid after hearing her order.

Oikawa stuttered, "[N]-[Name]-chan what are trying to-" [Name] silenced him by grabbing his hand, squeezing lightly when his expression faltered. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed the back of his hand lightly. 

"Is it so bad that I only want the best dish Seijoh's Bakery has to offer?" 


	3. meme master mattsun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if u aint dank enough i aint fuckin wit u

"Hey, Issei-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Could you kindly stop spamming my phone with Pepe memes?"

Matsukawa spit out his drink and guffawed at his girlfriend's request, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. She could only stare at him with an irritated expression as he laughed harder at her scrunched up face, clutching his stomach. He wiped his tears away and grinned slyly at her, slinging his arm over her shoulders. 

[Name] tried shoving him away, "Issei! We're in public you damn baboon; no PDA!" 

Her resistance fueled his desire to bring her closer to him and Matsukawa smirked when he saw the tinge of red on her cheeks. He left a trail of kisses from the corner of her plump lips to her ear, nibbling on her earlobe and savoring the small mewls. [Name] couldn't think properly; perhaps it was the fact Matsukawa was basically trying to reduce her to a hot puddle of mess with his not-so-innocent ministrations. Or maybe it could be the fact that other classmates were openly staring at them and some who were passing by the classroom even stopped to stare! Oh god, she couldn't handle it anymore! 

She pushed against Matsukawa with all of her might but to no avail, the middle blocker didn't even budge an inch. Matsukawa lets go of her earlobe with a loud "pop!" and held her even tighter. [Name] felt like every single ounce of her resistance was beginning to fade rapidly and if he continued his advances, oh Lord she didn't know if she could hold back from-

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to do it


	4. ya gotta be kitten me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ill come back to edit this my dudes

[Name] set her cup of mocha coffee on top of the kotatsu and settled underneath the warmth of the blanket. Numerous thoughts flooded her mind about the situation at hand. She didn't know how to feel about her relationship with Tetsurou and how she felt about him now; she just didn't know. [Name] couldn't function at this point, her mind shutting down slowly and her heart being torn piece by piece. The feeling of dread overrides her senses and she knows, she knows that the outcome of this situation will be inevitable, no matter how much she tried to change it. 

* * *

 

June 13th was the day Tetsurou and [Name] started dating. In the beginning, it was difficult for them because of [Name] attending Wakutaniminami and the sacrifices being made in order to see each other. The distance was slowly killing them yet it strengthened their bond as time flew by. [Name] felt so loved whenever Tetsurou would spontaneously show up at her part-time job to shower her with a bouquet filled with peonies and tulips and sing a shitty cover of "Beautiful in White" by Shane Filan. It made her happy knowing that he would put in as much effort as he would with volleyball; she couldn't help but feel ecstatic! 

Alas, it was short-lived. 

The constant text messages filled with heart kaomojis and love came to a stop, the frequent Skype calls became less and less and [Name] would be lucky if she managed to get a Skype notification from him; it pained [Name] so much yet she stayed because regardless of the emptiness that clouds her whole being, she loved Tetsurou unconditionally and would do anything to make him happy. 

* * *

 

On a chilly evening, [Name] arrived at Nekoma High with her duffle bag slung over her shoulder and asked a nearby student where the third gymnasium was located. The student happily showed her and as they walked, the student, known as Inuoka, struck up a light conversation. 

"Ah, why are you here, [Surname]-san? Visiting someone from the volleyball team? Because that's where we always hold our practices," asked Inuoka. 

[Name] couldn't help but smile, "I'm visiting someone but shh," she pressed her index finger to her lips, "it's a secret." 

Inuoka pretended to zip his lips and it made [Name] laugh heartily. He asked question after question and [Name] was happy to answer. They arrived at the gym and she could see her beloved Tetsurou warming up. Before she could shout out his name, a girl sat next to him and kissed his cheek, making the middle blocker turn into different shades of red. [Name] could only stare at the "cute" couple as they showered each other with affection. Inuoka sensed her shock and pulled her away from the scene, taking her to a secluded spot nearby the gym. 

Just why?

Why would Tetsu do that to her?

Was the desire of wanting to be together not enough to make him loyal and faithful?

Was she not  _enough_ for him?

[Name] couldn't fathom the fact that Kuroo Tetsurou has been seeing another woman behind her back. It made her heart beat painfully loud and fast. She felt like she was being brutally ripped into and the whole "I'm going to stay by his side no matter what" promise flew out of the window the moment she saw that bitch kiss Tetsurou as if she didn't know about his relationship with [Na]-

"Inuoka-kun, did Tets-I mean- Kuroo-san ever mentioned about being in a relationship with someone?"

[Name] started at Inuoka as he pondered over her question, trying to remember any moment that he might have mentioned having a girlfriend. He shook his head no, she sighed. 

"He mentioned having a girlfriend a little over three months ago and that's when Akira-senpai joined the team as manager," he paused to meet her stony gaze, "Why?"

She slung her duffle bag over her shoulder and bowed to Inuoka. [Name] thanked him and before leaving, she said, "Tetsurou and I have been dating for a year. Today was our first year anniversary and since I live in Miyagi, I thought it would be nice to surprise him and take him out to Tokyo Disneyland, seeing that I was able to get four days off from work...but I guess I was in for a rude awakening." She faked a smile and waved, leaving Inuoka standing there with a shocked expression plastered on his face. 

* * *

 

_6 missed calls_

_20 text messages unread_

_45 Skype_ _notifications from lolcat :^))_

[Name] stood up from her kotatsu and threw her phone in the trash can. She didn't want to see the text messages filled with "why are you ignoring me???" and "pls call me". She couldn't get that stupid broad kissing Tetsurou out of her mind! [Name] was about to put her cup of coffee in the sink when her doorbell rung repeatedly. She groaned and opened the door, seeing a disheveled Kuroo Tetsurou panting in front of her. The sight of Tetsurou panting would put her in a frenzy, but this served to nauseate her as he gave her a lopsided grin. She stepped aside to let him in and he made himself comfortable in her home, laying on the couch in a provocative manner as she closed the door. 

She went straight to the point, "Why are you here?" 

Tetsurou recoiled back in a mocking motion and sat up, looking at her with a confused expression. He saw how rigid she was, how that stony gaze of hers pierced right through him and left a bloody mess in his mind. 

"I wanted to see you? Is it so bad that I want to see my lovel-"

[Name] snapped.

" _Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence, Kuroo_ _Testurou,_ "she sneered as he tried to reach out to her to only place his arm on his lap. "How fucking dare you call me lovely when you have another woman you've been seeing for three months behind my back! How fucking dare you say you wanted to see me, yet you've been ignoring me and blowing me off for **7\. Fucking. Months.** YOUR OWN TEAM DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I EXISTED!" She wailed. "Want to know who informed me about your filthy affair? Inuoka did."

Tetsurou's eyes widened as he heard the name. 

"The day of our first year anniversary, I booked an early train ticket to Tokyo and arrived at Nekoma in the evening. I wanted to surprise you and treat you to Tokyo Disneyland but," she angrily pointed at him, "you just had to be an disloyal fuck and cheat on me with some  _dumb_ bitch!" She picked up the nearest thing and threw it at him, "Was I not  _enough_ for you Kuroo? Did I not satisfy your needs well enough? Wait, don't even answer that question."

[Name] unlocked the door and signaled him to get out, "Just fucking leave and don't ever talk to me. Delete my number, our pictures, and burn all of my clothes I left at your house." 

"B-Babe I-"

She glared at him. 

"You and I are not together anymore Kuroo. Forget everything we've had with each other and go back to that Akira bitch." 

[Name] grabbed his hand and roughly shoved him out the door, locking it. She slid down the door and let out a choked sob, tears running down her face rapidly as she cried and cried. Kuroo heard her wail from the closed door and couldn't help but let a few tears fall. Knowing that he was the one who reduced her to a crying mess, that he was the one who put her through so much pain made him realize that he took her for granted, that he didn't cherish the undying love and support [Name] had for him. Kuroo wanted her back, but he knew, she knew, that their journey together ended today and there was no going back. 

* * *

 

_“Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.” -Mineko Iwasaki_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being super late on updating, this nigga had finals to attend to and now im free as rihanna's pussy 
> 
> i've always wanted to write angst but couldn't because idk why, writing angst is fucking difficult. pls tell me im not the only one who struggles with angst. this was inspired by a long-distance relationship i had in the past; we lived 3,200+ miles from each other and i got a part-time job in order to save up money to go see her but it ended badly when i did fly out to see that she was with another man and later on, became pregnant with his child. it broke me and i couldn't recover for the longest time.  
> pls pls pls do not get into a long-distance relationship if you are willing to commit to them and put in 110% into the relationship; take it from this lass here.


	5. dank presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boi

"Kageyama Tobio."

Tobio turned to see his girlfriend of one year holding a white box wrapped delicately with champagne colored ribbons. 

He was confused.

Did he forget about a special day? Nah, that couldn't be because [Name]'s birthday is a couple of months from now, his birthday passed a month ago, and they just celebrated their one year anniversary yesterday. 

So why is she holding that box. 

As Tobio analyzed in his mind why his dear [Name] was holding a white box, she walked up to him and giggled at how ridiculous he looked trying to figure out her "surprise." Tobio snapped out of his confusion at the sound of her voice and gave her a half-hearted scowl.

"What's so funny, [Name]?" 

[Name] let out another giggle and placed her hand on his cheek, stroking her thumb back and forth gently. Tobio could only sputter incoherent sentences at her sudden affections and turn into a puddle of melted crow feathers as she continued her affectionate attack on him. She poked the side of his stomach with the box and indicated him to open it. [Name] pulled her hand away as Tobio meticulously unwrapped the box, wanting to save the ribbon and possibly tie the ribbon on his gym bag when he travels for games. He took a deep breath before opening it and...

_BZZZZZ!_

A wasp flew out of the box and landed right on Tobio's nose, observing him with those stupid eyes of theirs and with that haughty stance; oh how much he would love to smack his own face to kill the little bastard. But he can't, because he doesn't want to look stupid in front of his girlfriend and he wants to look cool. The wasp spared one more glance at the mean human and stung him, bringing honor to his wasp family back at home; at least they died as a brave warrior and killed the human. Tobio let out a high pitched yell at the stinging sensation on his nose and slapped the dead wasp away from his face. He could hear her mocking laughter and turned to scowl at her, but saw her running away from him instead. He grunted angrily at her actions and couldn't help but get even more pissed when [Name] yelled out before leaving his line of sight, "GET FUCKED NERD!" 

He'll get her next time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! overwatch is taking over my life like holy poopoo. i'm gonna go to phoenix comi con on friday and saturday so ill be dead for another week my dudes :^)


	6. plants over hoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok my comp shut down as i was writing this and im pissed cuz the first draft was amazingly written and it was hard remembering what i wrote before.   
> anyway   
> 1000+ hits and 30+ kudos????? IM SO FLATTERED. thank y'all for reading my shitty titles and my shitty drabbles; it makes me super happy <3

Everyone liked to believe that Ushijima Wakatoshi lived a strict, no-fun type of life since he was described to be "serious" and "way too blunt for anyone's liking." 

But people were wrong of course.

Ushijima Wakatoshi is a simple man; lived a simple life despite his father's side of the family's need to correct his left-handedness. He had a routine he liked and kept to it, always including something out of the ordinary in order to experience life in a different angle. 

Today was different. 

Wakatoshi decided that he won't include a new hobby; today he decided that he will relax and visit many botanical gardens, his one and only favorite hobby. Ever since he lost to Karasuno, it made him calm, relaxed, and has stopped underestimating his opponents. Wakatoshi knew that he was slowly changing but he believed that it would help him as a person and this change will improve his volleyball. The days that he would spend at volleyball practice are now the days where he would spend at a botanical garden, relieving him of the stress from school and conditioning to prepare his future practices at Chuuo University. 

Before leaving, he informed his grandmother of his leave and she gave him a kiss on the cheek, telling him to be careful and to update her on what he was doing. Wakatoshi stepped out of his traditional home and began his trek to his favorite garden in Miyagi. He thought about the plants he'll see; maybe he'll find one beautiful enough to take home? Or will it be one of those days where he will leave empty-handed? Snapping out of his thoughts, he saw that he arrived and entered the garden, inhaling the fresh scent of camellias and orchids. He greeted the owners and began his legendary adventure through the garden.

He left aisle B and went onward to the next aisle, observing every plant and reading the informational cards provided. Wakatoshi saw a small orchid peeking out from the array of plants and it immediately piqued his interest, speed-walking towards the beautiful orchid to find that it was attached to a Mammillaria cactus. 

"Mammillaria cactus- one of the largest of the cactus family (Cactacae). Most are native to Mexico but some come from southwest USA, the Caribbean, Colombia, Venezuela, Guatemala, and Honduras," Wakatoshi read quietly to himself. 

This is it.

This is the plant. 

_'My spirit plant,'_ Wakatoshi thought amused.

Carefully picking up the plant, he called the owners and asked to purchase the beautiful cactus. The owners couldn't help giggle at his failed attempt to hide his excitement on bringing the Mammillaria cactus home. After purchasing it, Wakatoshi, with the power of the Gods above, he ran back home with his cactus in tow. His grandmother heard her grandson's heavy footsteps and went out to greet him, only to see him rushing to his room and yelling out "I'm sorry grandmother!" before sliding his door shut. She sighed and went back to her room to finish her craft. 

_'Boys these days.'_

Wakatoshi placed the cactus on the window sill and he couldn't help but appreciate the beauty before him. The light delicately hitting the window at the right angle, showcasing the Mammillaria cactus gorgeously. He could admire this cactus for eternity, but he knows that he needs to be top-notch with his caretaking and ensuring that his baby will be healthy. Filling up his watering pot, he stands before the lovely Mammillaria cactus and positions his watering pot over it, slightly tipping it downwards. The water splashes against the rough, prickly skin and Wakatoshi smiled softly as the water dripped down towards the moist soil. 

"D-Daddy!" the Mammillaria cactus moaned. 

"What the fuck" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
> 
> inspired by tumblr


End file.
